Chocolate or Jail...It's Your Choice

   I have been under extraordinary food temptations for about a week now.  Foods that don’t normally call out to me with their sweet alluring siren songs have become the things of my top 10 list!  Such as (and you may find this shocking) CHOCOLATE! It’s true, as a rule, I am not particularly drawn to chocolate.  I never, and I repeat NEVER eat candy bars of any kind.  I think that makes me a freak of sorts. I’m surrounded by people who love candy bars and chocolate tid bits of all sorts, but I’m not a fan. In fact, no one living in this house is a fan of any sort of candy bar.  To the best of my memory the last chocolate bar I ate was one mini dark chocolate square towards the end of summer.   But lately, I’ve caught myself standing in the candy isles of convenience stores, grocery stores, and movie counters, just starring, not really focused on anything. Frozen there like an idiot, unable to speak or move.  Chocolate has suddenly become my own personal kryptonite! 

   I think I may have some hormone issues going on, because frankly nothing else makes sense to me. And let’s face it; it’s always easier to blame any sudden physical or mental change on hormones.  It super easy to throw the poor little defenseless hormone under the bus.   It amazes me how many ailments you can blame on them. The list is endless!  Our prisons are full of women who snapped under the sheer weight of them!  These little demons can turn any sweet little, Jesus lovin’ Sunday school teacher into a full blown homicidal maniac!!!

   At this very moment I have two giant Cadbury milk chocolate bars in my freezer.  I also have one extra-large Lindt dark chocolate bar with sea salt in there with them.  I’m not really sure what’s going on with me right now. I’m storing this stuff away like some crazy squirrel with PMS! I’m a little frightened of where all this madness could lead. 

 

   Sunday afternoon my thoughts were completely preoccupied with thoughts of chocolate hot fudge cake! I don’t even know if any place sells that any more. The last restaurant that had it was Shoney’s and they have been out of business for a few years now.  My husband suggested Sonic. I was pretty sure they didn’t have it, but I was certain they had something that would hit the spot just as nicely.  He wasn’t hungry, but he was perfectly willing to drive me to Sonic and sit with me while I ate. It was not unlike all those late night runs for pregnancy craving foods.  I ate….he watched.  What a dear.

   Earlier today I drove by Baskin Robins and noticed that the sign read “$1 Scoop Tuesday’s”!!! Whose crazy idea was this?  I almost had a wreck trying to read the sign!  I looked at my son Mitch and said (with a very bossy tone) “we’re coming back over here later because I need chocolate fudge ice cream.” I just dragged him down with me.  He’s a health nut. He runs cross country, watches what he eats, and only drinks water.  But a mom with a kid (no matter the age) getting ice cream, paints a prettier picture than a sad, pathetic, middle aged, pre-menopausal looser out for an ice cream, hands down any day of the week! Wisely, he didn’t put up a fight.  To struggle would be unwise.

   Before you worry that I have fallen off the diet wagon, fear not, for I have recently secured a walking buddy! It’s true…misery loves company!  I guess it’s easier to assist someone else in their struggle, than it is to stay focused on mine.  We walked 4 miles today! We walked right past the 31 flavors and I didn’t even look back (mostly because I started thinking about Lot’s wife looking back and turning into a pillar of salt and it wigged me out)!  I’m quite at peace with myself right now.  I’m proud that I had the courage to resist the fudge ice cream, but if I ever find that eating chocolate is all that stands between me remaining calm or snapping, then give me chocolate! It’s certainly a better choice than prison.